In a compelling episode of the Women at Work podcast, hosts Amy Gallo and Amy Bernstein engage in a thoughtful conversation with executive coach and author Muriel Wilkins about the internal beliefs that often hold leaders back from reaching their full potential. Drawing from Wilkins’s new book, *Leadership Unblocked: Break Through the Beliefs That Limit Your Potential*, the discussion centers on what Wilkins terms “hidden blockers”—deeply ingrained, often unconscious beliefs that interfere with effective leadership.
Wilkins defines hidden blockers as internal beliefs that feel like absolute truths but may actually limit one’s ability to lead effectively. These beliefs are “hidden” because leaders are frequently unaware they carry them; they operate beneath the surface, shaped by past experiences rather than present realities. For example, beliefs such as “I need it done now,” “I know I’m right,” or “I need to be involved” can seem like strengths or necessities but may actually sabotage a leader’s ability to grow, collaborate, or prioritize effectively. These hidden blockers, Wilkins explains, serve a purpose—often related to feeling valued or in control—but they can unintentionally block progress toward professional and personal goals.
The conversation delves into the difficulty leaders face in recognizing their own blockers because it requires self-blame and a willingness to change. Wilkins points out that it’s easier to blame others for stalled advancement, low morale, or workplace resentment than to consider one’s own role in creating or perpetuating these issues. However, she emphasizes that awareness of one’s contribution is the first step toward transformation. As an executive coach for over 20 years, Wilkins’s role is not to change external circumstances but to help leaders work within their current contexts by identifying new choices and behaviors that can shift dynamics positively.
Amy Bernstein shares a personal example of a hidden blocker in her own leadership: the belief “I need it done now.” She once prided herself on her rapid responsiveness to emails and messages, viewing it as a strength. However, this habit led to exhaustion and burnout. Bernstein realized she had been reacting to others’ urgencies as if they were her own, failing to distinguish between what was urgent and what was important. Through Wilkins’s coaching, she reframed her belief to focus on prioritizing what truly needs to be done each day rather than reacting immediately to every request. This subtle but powerful shift allowed her to regain control over her time and energy.
Wilkins notes that such blockers often originate early in careers when rapid response and productivity are highly rewarded. But as leaders grow in scale and responsibility, these same beliefs can become limiting. It’s crucial, she says, to assess whether long-held mantras still serve current goals and contexts. Effective leadership at scale requires evolving beyond habits that might have been assets in earlier roles.
Amy Gallo identifies with another common hidden blocker: “I know I’m right.” She recounts how being praised for having the right answers and excelling academically reinforced this belief. Yet, as Wilkins points out, the challenge arises not from having the right answers but from how that confidence impacts relationships. The “know-it-all” blocker can lead to arrogance or impatience, causing leaders to dominate conversations and exclude others, which damages team connection and collaboration. Wilkins explains that if a leader’s goal is simply to have the right answers, then this belief works fine. But if the goal includes fostering inclusion and ensuring the best outcomes through collective input, then the belief becomes a barrier.
Both Amy Gallo and Wilkins share candid stories illustrating the impact of this blocker. Gallo recalls a colleague pointing out the unspoken “you idiot” tone she inadvertently conveyed, while Wilkins recounts being reprimanded early in her career for rolling her eyes during a client meeting. These moments of feedback, though uncomfortable, were crucial for their growth and helped them recognize the need to adjust their behaviors for better leadership outcomes.
For leaders wondering how to uncover their own hidden blockers, Wilkins recommends tuning into moments of dissonance—when there is a gap between how you act and who you want to be, or when outcomes don’t align with goals. Often, this dissonance triggers a desire for change. Through a process of curiosity and questioning—asking “What would I need to believe to achieve this goal?”—leaders can begin to identify and reframe limiting beliefs. Wilkins stresses that it’s not about eliminating beliefs but expanding one’s capacity to hold multiple perspectives, adapting beliefs to different contexts