Kevin Federline, the former husband of pop icon Britney Spears, has revealed new and deeply personal details about their tumultuous relationship in his upcoming memoir, You Thought You Knew. The book, set to be published on Tuesday, offers a candid and, at times, unsettling portrayal of Spears’s behavior during their marriage and beyond, as well as Federline’s ongoing concerns about her wellbeing. Spears, however, has strongly criticized the memoir, accusing Federline of exploiting their shared history for personal gain.
Federline, once a backing dancer for Spears, paints a stark picture of the pop star’s alleged erratic conduct as both a wife and mother. According to excerpts shared exclusively with the BBC by the publisher Listenin, Federline makes several serious allegations. He accuses Spears of engaging in unhealthy and potentially dangerous behavior, including drinking alcohol during her pregnancy and using cocaine while their two sons were still breastfeeding. Spears has consistently denied ever having substance abuse problems, making these claims particularly contentious.
One of the more disturbing accounts in Federline’s memoir concerns the couple’s sons, Preston, now 20, and Jayden, now 19. Federline claims that when the boys were teenagers, they were afraid of their mother. He writes that the boys would sometimes wake up in the night to find Spears standing silently in their bedroom doorway, watching them sleep with a knife in her hand. “Oh, you’re awake?” she would say before quietly leaving the room without explanation. Such allegations, if true, cast a troubling light on Spears’s state of mind during those years.
Beyond these specific incidents, Federline expresses a profound and ongoing worry for Spears’s overall wellbeing. He writes candidly about the sense of urgency he feels, suggesting that the situation “feels like it’s racing toward something irreversible” and that “the clock is ticking.” This sense of impending crisis underscores the memoir’s broader theme: a man trying to grapple with the complexities of his former partner’s struggles while also reflecting on his role as a father and ex-husband.
Federline also addresses the controversial conservatorship that controlled many aspects of Spears’s life for over a decade. Established in 2008 amid concerns about her mental health, the conservatorship placed Spears’s finances and personal affairs under the control of her father and others. Federline reveals that he supported this arrangement at the time, believing it was necessary. He also admits that he could “never fully get behind” the Free Britney movement, which campaigned for Spears’s freedom from the conservatorship. This stance has sparked debate among fans and commentators, many of whom viewed the conservatorship as an unjust restriction on Spears’s autonomy.
The origins of Federline and Spears’s relationship date back to the summer of 2004, after Spears’s peak years as a global pop sensation. They married just a few months later and quickly started a family, welcoming their two sons. However, their union was short-lived. Spears filed for divorce in 2006, and the divorce was finalized the following year. The couple’s subsequent custody battles played out very publicly, with Federline ultimately being granted sole custody of Preston and Jayden.
Federline’s memoir revisits the period following the custody decision, describing Spears’s highly publicized erratic behavior. Notable incidents include Spears shaving her head and attacking a photographer’s car with an umbrella—episodes that fueled widespread media concern about her mental health. Following these events, Spears was hospitalized twice, leading to the establishment of the temporary conservatorship later in 2008, which became permanent that same year. The conservatorship remained in place until 2021, when it was finally lifted, allowing Spears to regain control over her life and, eventually, custody of her children.
Spears has been vocal in her opposition to Federline’s memoir and his recent media appearances promoting it. She has described the book’s contents as “extremely hurtful and exhausting,” accusing Federline of attacking her character. She also suggested that, despite the pain it causes her, the book will likely sell better than her own memoir, The Woman in Me, which was released earlier. In her memoir, Spears had accused Federline of attempting to portray her as “completely out of control,” a claim that now seems to be echoed in Federline’s account.
Regarding her relationship with her sons, Spears has taken to social media to defend herself. On October 15, she wrote that she has “always pleaded