**How Delaying Smartphones and Social Media Helps Children Thrive: Psychologist Jean Twenge’s Guidance for Parents**
In the rapidly evolving digital age, one of the biggest challenges parents face is deciding when to introduce their children to smartphones and social media. The pressure to allow kids access to these technologies at younger and younger ages is immense, with many children as young as 11 or 12 already owning smartphones and engaging with social media platforms. However, psychologist Jean Twenge, a professor at San Diego State University and an expert on generational trends, urges parents to take a more cautious approach. Her research suggests that delaying access to these technologies can significantly benefit children’s long-term happiness and success.
Twenge’s stance is grounded in years of research into the mental health effects of technology on young people. In her latest book, “10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World,” she presents compelling evidence that early and unrestricted access to smartphones and social media is linked to higher rates of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues among teenagers. Her message to parents is clear: the longer you wait to introduce your child to these technologies, the better off they are likely to be as adults.
**The Importance of Starting Early—But Not With Devices**
Twenge doesn’t advocate for keeping children in the dark about technology. Instead, she recommends that parents begin preparing their children for responsible technology use at least six years before they actually gain access to smartphones or social media. This early start is not about handing over devices, but rather about educating children on how to use technology safely and thoughtfully.
According to Twenge, parents should begin setting expectations and having conversations about technology use by the time their kids are in late elementary school, or even earlier if the children are already using internet-connected devices like laptops or tablets. The goal is to ensure that by the time children are old enough to use smartphones and social media, they already have a strong foundation of digital literacy and an understanding of the potential risks and responsibilities.
**Concrete Conversations: What Kids Need to Know**
One crucial aspect of this preparation involves talking with children about the dangers and pitfalls associated with technology use. Twenge suggests that parents have frank discussions about what types of personal information should never be shared online, such as nude photos, home addresses, or Social Security numbers. Children should be taught about the value of privacy, and reminded that anything shared online or via text can potentially become public—even supposedly temporary messages on apps like Snapchat.
Another key lesson is to help children appreciate the value of their time. Twenge notes that kids need to understand that time is a precious resource, and excessive use of devices can detract from real-life interactions and experiences. Encouraging children to prioritize face-to-face relationships with friends and family over virtual ones can help them develop healthier relationships with technology as they grow older.
**Setting Firm Rules and Boundaries**
While education and open conversation are important, Twenge emphasizes that these alone are not enough. Parents must also establish clear and firm rules around technology use. In her book, Twenge outlines several rules she believes can help children develop healthier habits and avoid many of the pitfalls associated with early and unrestricted access to digital devices.
One of her key recommendations is to ban smartphones during the school day and overnight in children’s bedrooms. This helps ensure that kids are not distracted from their studies or losing sleep because of their devices. Another rule is that a child’s first phone should be a basic model that can make calls and send texts, but does not have internet access. This allows children to communicate with friends and family without the risks that come with social media and unrestricted web browsing.
When parents do decide to introduce smartphones or allow limited internet access, Twenge suggests using parental controls to guide and monitor their child’s experience. For example, parents can set daily time limits to prevent kids from spending hours on social media, and block access to adult-themed websites and apps. This approach helps children learn moderation while still allowing them to participate in digital life in a controlled and safe way.
**The Role of Parental Involvement and Transparency**
A critical component of this approach is direct and transparent communication. Twenge advises parents to be upfront with their children about the rules and controls they are putting in place. For example, if a parent decides to block app downloads on a child’s smartphone, this should be discussed openly with the child. If the child wants to install a new app, it becomes a conversation rather than a unilateral decision, giving